Indigo Is the Empath’s New Black: Sport a Light Bubble to Maintain Your Vibe

“How can I protect myself from other people’s energies?” I’m often asked in sessions with Highly Sensitive People and empaths.

The answer is that you don’t need to protect yourself; energy is energy. It’s neither good nor bad, positive nor negative, light nor dark or heavy. Labeling it as such gives it power over you.

Energy vibrates at varying frequencies: the energy flowing through each of us can move more slowly or quickly depending on our beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. No particular frequency is right or wrong, better or worse. We each get to choose which to experience. (To read more about the vibration and frequency of emotions, read Be the Joy You Wish to See in the World.)

When you’re in the presence, though, of someone or a group of people whose energy vibrates much more slowly than yours, you may feel it—and yes, you may not enjoy the sensation. And that’s OK; it’s as normal as preferring a temperature of 75 degrees versus 95 Fahrenheit.

So step inside your own emotional-climate-controlled light bubble.

Harnessing the tremendous power of your mind, visualize an indigo-colored light bubble around you. Take your time and see it all around you, extending above and below and to your sides. Look out beyond it and notice that you’re perceiving the world as though through a colored lens. Notice your energy and the way that you feel and set the intention to maintain your vibe.

Make this as real for yourself as you can with all five of your senses and refresh it again later in the day, if necessary.

Take long, slow, deep breaths, imagining that each time you inhale you draw on qi, chi, or the Source of all life. You become bigger and brighter; each time you exhale you breathe that Source energy out into your environment. Feel that power and coming into and leaving your body; you are the conduit.

You are setting the energy temperature of the room rather than being a victim of it.

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In a future post, I’ll offer tools for how to deal with people who unknowingly try to suck energy from you rather than source it themselves.

— Allison Brunner, LCSW, Body Talks Therapy

Sit With Desire: A Tool for Empaths and HSPs With Food Cravings and Other Urges

Before I knew I was an empath, I used to think that I had an addictive personality. When stressed or overstimulated, I craved sweet, high-carb foods and alcohol—or anything to take the edge off of the way I was feeling. It wasn’t until I began exploring my emotions more mindfully that I realized that I’d been, without realizing, absorbing into my body the energy of distressed people with whom I worked closely. Regardless of how well my life was going or how much I loved my job, I often felt anxious, depressed, and overwhelmed at the end of each work day.

What I understand now is that emotional empaths and many highly sensitive people inadvertently pack on weight in order to protect themselves from negativity and the emotions of others. Food grounds the energetically sensitive person. Alcohol can reduce stress. It’s also a sedative that depresses the central nervous system and makes us vulnerable vibrationally to situations, people, or entities that could bring trouble.

But there are healthier ways we can cope and even break small addictions before they become big problems.

Allow self-love and compassion to motivate your desire to change. Guilt only compounds the stress that triggers cravings and the desire to engage in behaviors that aren’t for your greatest and highest good. Your worth as a human being is inherent; nothing you do or don’t do alters that. Commit to the following practice because you want to and deserve it—not because you should.

Decide in advance that you’re going to allow yourself 20 to 30 minutes to fully feel the desire to drink, smoke, overeat, engage in a toxic relationship—or whatever the behavior is—without giving into it. (If the desire to indulge hasn’t lessened by the end, then try again on another day or consider getting professional help if what you’re dealing with is chronic—but this strategy has also helped people in recovery.)

Observe and let go of thoughts and avoid labeling your experience. Don’t try to problem-solve the situation. Simply allow whatever arises from within.

Notice the physical sensations associated with the emotions that are present. Get curious  and place even more awareness into the center of them. Notice whether they remain stable, intensify momentarily, or dissipate.

And breathe long, slow, deep breaths.

If you need to cry, go ahead. If you you’re agitated or irritable, squeeze your pinky fingers with the thumb, ring finger, and middle finger on the same hand (your index fingers are free) or try putting stronger emotions in your big toe to slow them down and release more slowly.

Say to yourself that there is nothing wrong with feeling. It’s OK to feel what you feel. You don’t have to act on it. You’re OK. You’ve got this.

Keep breathing.

This is the process of releasing. Remember, as I’ve pointed out in previous blogs, emotions move in waves. If you don’t grab onto them by thinking about and engaging with them and instead speak kind, soothing words to yourself, they will pass.

Next month, I’ll share with you more tools for standing in your own energy without taking on other people’s “stuff.” Meanwhile, check out  “Own Your Own Space,” a guided meditation, published in my September 2017 blog post., “Hold Steady the Light: How Empaths Can Impact the World More Powerfully.”

— Allison Brunner, LCSW, Body Talks Therapy

Hold Steady the Light: How Empaths Can Impact the World More Powerfully

You and I have realized either in childhood or not long ago that we’re on the planet at this time for a reason. I’ve heard many of you say you’re compelled recently to arise from your yoga mats and meditation cushions and do more than cultivate a practice of inner healing and personal transformation; you’re ready to take action.

Meanwhile the noise of our external world seems to have reached a crescendo—enough to make this empath want to hide in a corn field most days and ring in autumn with the crickets. In this era in which the brightest and the darkest in all of us has risen to the surface, it can feel increasingly uncomfortable to engage with people—especially amidst so much suffering. If we don’t know how to stay centered, we can get lost in the drama and aren’t much help then to anyone.

What I hear many of you asking, whether rhetorically or directly in our one-on-one coaching sessions, is how can we as highly sensitive people maintain a healthy nervous system as we go out into the world and carry out our missions, whether in our careers, volunteer work, or while simply walking down a city street?

I’m relieved we’re having these conversations. Now more than ever, I sense the urgency of pausing, taking a breath, and responding in a conscious, more deliberate way versus reacting in a manner that creates more chaos and conflict. More important than what action we take these days is how we move forward.

“Stay centered, do not overstretch. Extend from your center, return to your center.”    —Buddha

From my days as a highly sensitive child, I rushed to the scenes of people in need or stepped into the fires of conflict and tried to mediate. Worse, I didn’t know what an empath was or understand that I was one; when I’d hear that someone was in pain, I’d take it on unknowingly by running their energy through my own body to try to prevent them from feeling it. Half the time, I interpreted what I felt as personal mental illness. I operated this way until burnout rendered me exhausted, sick, and chronically depressed in my late-thirties.

As many of you know, I spent much of this summer alone, engaged in a personal retreat. During this time, I learned how to manage my energy by holding steady the light so that I could impact the world more powerfully. I promised to share what I learned, with the help of Jim Self’s Mastering Alchemy courses, by summer’s end. I’ve never found tools (including the shielding and grounding strategies most empaths have been taught over the years) more helpful than these for myself and for my clients. These days, I feel stronger, more capable, and more energized.

I now practice twice daily, a couple of minutes in the morning and again in the afternoon, or as needed (e.g., when entering crowded public spaces, speaking with an unhappy customer service representative, or being exposed to TVs broadcasting bad news). After familiarizing yourself with the techniques, you can practice them just a couple of minutes on your own.

On the evening of the solar eclipse, I created “Own Your Space,” a downloadable mp3 you can access here. The thunderstorm you hear in the background is not ambient; it’s real, so enjoy!

 

—Allison Brunner, LCSW, RM, Body Talks Therapy

A New Way to Love: Put Yourself First and Allow Others Their Journey

— Allison Brunner, LCSW, RM, Body Talks Therapy

Highly Sensitive Mystics’ New Moon Meetup Starts Next Week

“One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul,” wrote Clarissa Pinkola Estés, poet, Jungian psychoanalyst, and author of Women Who Run With the Wolves, in her Letter to a Young Activist During Troubled Times. “Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it.”

You, members of the Body Talks community, are beacons of light. Some of you have been seeking opportunities to join forces with like-minded folks to beam more brightly in what a few of you have described “a tough time to be highly sensitive.”

Join me to do just that, during the moon’s darkest phase of the cycle, at the Highly Sensitive Mystics first New Moon meetup, Friday, January 27, 7:15pm to 8:30pm. There are four spaces remaining for those who want to meet in person at 237 N. Prince St., Suite 303, Lancaster (above the Lancaster Trophy House). Ten additional, from San Francisco to Philadelphia, may participate live online.

photo by Amber Johnston

We’ll start the evening by introducing ourselves, then open sacred space in the manner taught to me by one of my teachers, a shaman and practitioner of the sacred energy medicine ways of the Q’ero and the Machi and the female shamans of the Chilean Mapuche. We’ll read poetry (bring your own or a song if you’d like), bless the Earth, and engage in meditation similar to Tonglen to benefit those special to us and to beings worldwide. We’ll hold space for each other and set intentions and burn them in fire, close the circle, and sample a little food and drink.

This will be a smaller, more intimate gathering. As our community grows, we’ll move into a larger space. Until then, please be sure to R.S.V.P. here whether you’re joining us in-person or via Google Hangouts; your payment of $5 reserves your spot. (If you’re a part of my Meetup.com group, I’ve already received your R.S.V.P.). You may also contact me to place you on a waiting list should one participant cancel in advance.

Reach out to me by Wednesday with any technical questions regarding Google Hangouts (make sure you have a Gmail address, and then meet us here a few minutes prior to the start of the event).

In the mean time, I leave you with more from Estés: “I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is — we were made for these times.”

That includes each one of you.

—Allison Brunner, LCSW, Body Talks Therapy

 

 

 

 

 

 

Highly Sensitive People, Now More Than Ever the World Needs Our Medicine

The timing of this announcement, given what we have been facing in our communities, our nation, and internationally, feels significant.

Years of planetary chaos seemed in late-2016 to reach a crescendo. All that lay hidden in our shadows with regard to what in humankind wants to heal (greed, violence, hatred, separation or the illusion of “the other”) moved into the light of our collective awareness. The crisis, like a global-scale Herxheimer Reaction, prompted some of my friends and clients to ask how we can take responsibility for and help soothe the world’s woes and bring us back into balance.

Moved and inspired by your displays of tenderness, compassion, and commitment to serve, I’ve felt a soul yearning to support you bearers of light to ensure your missions are accomplished. In order to create a community for and attract more who are similar in characteristics and attributes, I’ve reflected on what you all have in common. I came to the conclusion that you (and I) are what clinical psychologist and researcher Dr. Elaine Aron refers to as Highly Sensitive People (or HSPs).

We process stimuli more thoroughly than the average person and feel more intensely than others. Often this means we’re more artistic, observant and conscientious, exhibit greater empathy, notice subtleties in our environments, identify imbalances as well as solutions, put others at ease, and hold a vision for what is possible in creating a better world. We’re artists, guides, coaches, healers, empaths, intuitives, inventors, philosophers, thought leaders, and sages.

Many HSPs are not aware that their sensory processing sensitivity trait, when acknowledged, understood, and honored, is a strength—nor the fact that it is the very medicine Earth and its inhabitants need now more than ever. When an ailing child cries out for comfort (as humanity seems to be doing more and more desperately these days), it is the embrace and nourishment of the wisest and most nurturing caregiver that can most effectively lull the little one’s pain.

That is the gift that you possess, HSPs. When our own nervous systems are balanced and our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs met, we’re an unstoppable force for positive transformation in our families, communities, and beyond.

And this is where I feel called to serve, beginning now, in this auspicious hour.

I’ve narrowed my niche, serving those among the 15 to 20 percent of the human population who identify as highly sensitive, by offering virtual and in-person emotional healing services, coaching, education, community, even transformational dance classes, so that you may heal yourself to heal the world, find support and power in numbers, and dare to shine your light far and wide.

Body Talks Therapy, the name of my new practice, is more than a nod to my somatic (or body-centered) approach to facilitating your self-empowerment; it acknowledges the sacredness of that which allows our spirits to live in form, where we can connect with our breath, with our five senses, and with our emotions, and experience the wonder, mystery, and miracle of being alive—even during turbulent times.

No one knows precisely what’s in store for the human race and for Earth, our beautiful home. But because of you, I am optimistic. With the unfolding of current events, I’ve witnessed your journey from shock and devastation to a willingness to peacefully rise up, embody your best selves, and to love others (regardless of their background or beliefs) with every bit of strength and resilience you have.

Since I was a child, I possessed a deep knowing that once I worked through my own pain and integrated much of my personal shadow with my light, I would play some kind of role in helping others do the same and to steer us in a direction that would serve humankind’s highest good. Often I felt isolated, unaware of those around me who were doing the same, and longed for a community of folks with a similar life purpose.

The Hopi elders have said that we, this generation, yes, we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.  From where I sit, you are the ones I’ve been waiting for. I bow to you; for the light in me recognizes the light in you.

 

—Allison Brunner, LCSW, Body Talks Therapy

 

 

 

Be the Joy You Wish to See in the World

“I don’t know if I have it in me,” a friend confided in me recently. He was referring to the work that lies ahead in restoring harmony and peace on the planet following the election of Donald Trump for U.S. President and the outbreak of hate crimes and hate speech that have ensued.

Some clients and friends carry the heaviness of the world on their shoulders and in their hearts. In their commitment to alleviate post-election division and stand up for human rights and the health of our Earth, they seem exhausted, worried, and intensely focused.

While their emotions are warranted, I wonder how often they’re laughing.

Following several national tragedies last spring and summer, people processed their pain by doing what’s human and considered a natural stage of grieving: drawing attention to the problem, railing against a broken system, and posting violent videos on Facebook. Then I encountered in my newsfeed a photograph of a butterfly on the beach. A therapist friend musing at that day’s magic at the Jersey Shore had taken it.

She worried it was inappropriate, she later shared with me in a text. She didn’t want to seem insensitive.

Together though we intuited that it was exactly what the world needed. People were spiraling into a pit of despair; someone who was able needed to anchor some light.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

Albert Einstein proved that all matter is comprised of energy. Emotions are energy as well. According to the Law of Vibration, energy is always vibrating. The speed at which energy vibrates can be measured in hertz (Hz); one hertz equals one vibrational cycle per second.

Joy vibrates at 540 Hz, or 540 cycles of vibration per second. Anger vibrates at 150 Hz.

The lower the vibration, the slower the vibration; the higher, the faster. Fear vibrates at 100, for example, love at 528 Hz. [i]

When large numbers of beings not only focus their attention on but experience such high-frequency states as oneness, unity, forgiveness, communion, gratitude, and generosity, there is a palpable shift in our collective vibration. We feel it on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, for example, and it’s measurable and explained by science.

Raising the planet’s vibration affects the way we think, feel, and act. It can impact the trajectory of our evolution.

The same thing occurs when we focus collectively on the world’s troubles and the weight of what lies ahead.

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” ―Nicola Tesla

Make no mistake: we must feel our feelings in order to avoid suppressing and experiencing them later as physical, mental, or spiritual illness. As we’re called then to participate in our own way to create solutions, we can do so more powerfully and without burning out if we allow such higher-frequency emotions as joy, compassion and inspiration to motivate us.

It doesn’t always have to be difficult; it can be as simple as inviting friends to a good meal, hiking on a beautiful day, hanging holiday lights, singing out loud to music that moves us, dancing, gazing at nature’s wonders, and, most importantly, laughing.

For we must be that which we long to manifest in the world.

How do we do that when we’re upset or afraid? First, we cultivate self-compassion for the parts of ourselves that are hurting. Remember that emotions are impermanent and move through us in waves. As much as is tolerable, become present to what is and trust that it will pass; we cannot resist or will ourselves to feel differently. See if you can observe or witness your experience rather than identifying with it until the pain begins to shift. (For more, read “One Way to Heal Emotional Pain: Do Nothing.”)

Quantum physics’ principle of resonance states that when two frequencies are brought together, the lower will always rise to meet the higher. By stepping into joy and embodying our best selves, we transmute greed, separation, fear, and the like. With every thought, word, giggle, and guffaw, we can change the world—and yes, even those who hold political office.

[i] Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender, David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., Hay House, Inc., 2012.

—Allison Brunner, LCSW, RM, Body Talks Therapy